Economic bilingualism?

Hudson is multicultural in so many ways!

In a casual playground interaction the other day at Matthews Beach, a mom told me her half-Mexican daughter would be attending Zoom preschool for the summer and that it was very difficult to get into.  I have heard other parents say similar things, and it looks like several programs run an average of $350/month for attending twice a week.  There are some, like La Escuelita that don't even post tuition rates on their website and I'm the kind of person who assumes that means it's too expensive for me, and even though it's a convenient location and it is clear they have a strong program, I probably will never even call them.
Currently I am our family's full-time income-earner, bringing home enough money to keep us going and to save a bit every month toward our imminent down payment on a townhouse.  Ben paints houses during the summer (anyone need painting?) and gives us enough extra cushion to allow for our uncontrollable extras like booze and seeing shows, attending flamenco workshops, etc.  We certainly do not have an extra $350 a month right now.  (We are even using state-offered health insurance for both Ben and Hudson, because adding even one of them to my program was prohibitively expensive.)  In short, bilingual preschool is not in our future unless Ben goes to work during the school year, in which case we'd also be needing to pay for child care when preschool is not in session...

The chain of money is dizzying, yet I'm dedicated to providing my child with bilingual experiences and education.  How do we go about this?

So far, I am simply counting my blessings that I am a fluent Spanish speaker and know of great resources other than preschool.  This makes me Hudson's sole exposure to Spanish so far, but at least I'm cheap.  Free Spanish exposure seven days a week is quite the bargain I think.  Perhaps by the time Hudson is school-aged we'll consider a two-parent income model so that we can afford a bilingual school.  Or I should call the school district today to get on a wait list for kindergarten at the John Stanford school, which I hear is also hard to get into...  My head is spinning.

At any rate, my dream is to travel to Spain (not to mention the rest of the Hispanic world) at least every two years, enroll my child in a bilingual school, and most importantly, just make some Spanish-speaking friends.  But my social ineptitude is another issue entirely.  Let's see what happens.

When the going gets rough...

Let's be honest.  I'm stressed.  I found myself welling up in tears the other day while organizing my photocopies in the faculty kitchen.  No reason.  Just stress.  One little wrong thought and my whole body and mind were twisted into hopelessness. 

I have little "time" for meditation, I hardly read anymore, I dance a few days a week but I don't run, and when I get home in the evening, little Hudson Guy is in need of attention and physical contact until bedtime, when the physical contact is continued, but at least we both sleep.  (Finally!!)  So it's clear that I am not setting my life up for stress-relieving choices right now. 

How do I redirect this?  A change needs to be made, and I keep thinking of what neuroscience and Buddhism both know -- generosity and kindness to others is probably the best way to bring a breath of calm and meaningful life back to myself.  My school is launching a kindness project this month encouraging people to "pay it forward" and to be kind to others both directly and anonymously.  We have cards that we're asking students to deliver when they perform their act of kindness so that the acts can be registered online.  I'm hopeful to see great and widespread effects, but mostly I'm deciding to take it as yet another hint that this is where I need to focus my own stress right now... on the good, not the bad.  For example:

-Ben cooks me dinner every night without asking.
-Last night he not only brought me a cup of tea, but with honey, lemon, and whiskey.  Just right.
-I got taken out to the ballet (PNB's Don Quijote) on Sunday by Ben's Mom and it was beautiful, relaxing, and inspiring.
-Yesterday a student actually helped clear away some backpacks and binders from the floor that belonged to someone not in the room, so that we could shut the classroom door and begin. 
And even...
-The sunrise has been beautiful for days on end, and I love driving across 520 to see all the mountains and the lightening sky each morning.
-My son is learning about new words, new animals, new pieces of life every day.  He pushes his hair out of his eyes, and points to things on the pages of his books he never saw before.
-I feel a deep love for my family, and I know my family loves me.  That's what it really comes down to.

Snow Days

Three days without school.  We had MLK day, and that night received emails saying that Tuesday was cancelled... then Wednesday... then Thursday.  And it's still snowing.  I spent the first morning taking advantage of the extended deadline for mid-term comments, sitting in Cloud City and pounding out the paragraphs.  Here I am again.  This is the place for snow days. 

It was packed, loud, and steamy when I walked in, not even a chair to sit in, and the floor is soaked from boot-stomping.  I took my time putting honey in my cup of green tea so that by the time I was done, someone vacated a chair that I darted for from across the cafe.  I sat next to a family that was commenting on the quality sledding up the street, and recommending helmets -- several people had seen blood in the intersection.  That is NOT my version of a great snow day.

This warm cozy writing time is the only way for me to get some "me" time on a day that prohibits driving Hudson to the community center, too wet and icy to just go for a stroll, so what is a toddler to do but stay home and scribble on the table... and the chair... and the carpet...  And the separation anxiety seems to be peaking.  It's pretty hard to leave the room without having  a little hand grab my thigh (a better technique than grabbing a hand) and pulling me back.  It's also pretty hard to even just lay on the floor and do some abdominal exercises in the same room if I'm not putting my face up to his puzzle and helping him find the other half of the turtle. 

The only thing for a mamma to do is pack up the laptop, methodically bundle myself and try to ignore Hudson's increasing panic that I will be leaving, and give him a quick kiss while Papa gives him hugs (read: pins him down).  I'll be damned if I have three snow days off school and the only "me" time is running through my flamenco pieces in the basement of the in-laws house where I have my practice floor.  It feels great to dance and to take my time and to know I don't have a schedule, but it also feels great to read a Coleridge poem about snow sent out by a colleague, to reflect on my days and my life, and to feel like an intelligent adult.  I might read the news.  In Spanish.  I might read my favorite blogs.  The opportunities are endless with free wi-fi.  But I'd better keep going if I want to write a blog post AND read something, since Ben and Hudson will be coming to play in the kiddie corner any minute.  After all, little babus needs to get out of the house too.