What I learn from a two-year-old

It has been a long stretch without a post to this blog, mostly due to my own freak-out and needing to step back and look at life from new angles and re-settle things in my mind a bit, re-organized.  But contemplating, playing, planning, discussing, oh, and going to lots of therapy sessions, have been a really good way to spend the past few months. 
The biggest takeaway from this Spring has been that having a two-year old seems to run my life, but it doesn't have to be that way.  I commented to a colleague recently who has a 3rd-grader that there is no "sweet spot" of actually making all this career-art-mother balance.  It is just hard.  He commented back, "unless it's all a sweet spot and you just have to look at it differently."  He paused, and I tilted my head in that "well, maybe so..." kind of way.  "But we both know that's bullshit", he said.  Yup. He went on to explain that he remembers having a toddler and the stress level was entirely different.  He can actually sit down with his kid to read books in the evenings, and can go outside to play sports with him, and I keep that in the back of my mind....

My two-year-old is teaching me patience.  Both the patience needed to find out why he's throwing a tantrum and to stick with him through it, and the patience needed to understand that he will someday be a 3rd-grader.  He is teaching me that he can do things by himself -- like read his duck book, play with his musical toys, and play in the bath, and I can ABSOLUTELY take little moments in his playtime to read a poem or look through my own writing.  The rest is all about scheduling - even personal time has to be scheduled when you're a working, creative mamma, or even if you're a creative, stay-at-home dad like my husband.  We've gotten lazy.

Our plan is to actually schedule babysitting time well in advance so that  we have date nights set up regularly.  I have just started a summer session of adult ballet that I'll take one or two nights a week.  In the summer, when I'll be home with the kiddo I'll take him to a drop-in daycare once or twice a week so I can sit in a coffee shop and do some writing.  When next school year starts, little H will be registered in the NSCC co-op preschool program and while Ben will sometimes have to be involved as a member, he will get some sessions off to do his own thing.

Meanwhile, we watch our little guy learn new words every day, switching between his Spanish and English vocabulary, we watch him get excited about a new book, we cuddle and tickle and tackle and spin umbrellas in the rain.  And of course, also, we try to get him to eat dinner without the house becoming a war zone.  We try to get him distracted from a toy whose batteries have run out.  We try to get him to sleep in his toddler bed for the whole night.  And we stay patient. And I will continue to use this blog as my process, and my place to share what I experience and what I learn.