Love Stories II: Remember how we said we'd put the relationship first?

Finding ways to keep us all happy!

Part of our process of preparing for marriage was writing up lists of expectations and needs and comparing them and reflecting on them.  One of the expectations was for both of us to maintain the relationship and our family, as it grows, as the number one priority, even when careers and art get more intense.  Easy to say when you haven't come face to face with it yet.

So how we end up doing that now, five and a half years, one toddler, two vibrant careers later, is the tricky question.  I'm just getting off a full week of vacation that started and ended with flamenco gigs, at Agua Verde and Bilbao, respectively.  And I have decided to very intentionally stop performing for the spring so that I can have one trimester of school with less pressure, and see how that feels.  We have also decided to have Papá put the baby to bed at least one night a week so that I can have some alone time to read (imagine that!!) and then to have some time to hang out with Papá if I can stay up that late.  If possible, we are going to find a date night when we do not schedule other things and can have a babysitter take Hudson for just a couple hours in the evening, and once a week is the goal but even every other week will feel luxurious.  We have had to sit down and talk explicitly about how to schedule our lives, how to show each other our affection in little ways, how to maintain connection, so that we remain strong.  It doesn´t just happen on its own that is for sure. 

I loved performing at Bilbao the other night -- we were focused, calm, and had a good time.  It really goes to show that the venue can affect your performance, which I didn't fully believe until I went from Agua Verde, where it is noisy and we were very much in the background, to Bilbao in the same week.  So I am in a way sad to set aside performances for a while, because I feel pretty convinced that it can work well.  On the other hand, as soon as I vocalized my decision and said I was not going to worry about dancing, I felt a bit of a physical relief, that some of that stress automatically lifted.  Goes to show how the back and forth will always be there.  I feel like "just" a career and a kid is so, well, boring, even though it's an intricate and fascinating balance of its own.  If there's no art, it doesn't quite feel right, though I'm trying to chill my ambitious ego a bit and enjoy the sensation of having my family truly, intentionally, be the number one priority.  A happy mommy makes for happy kids.  Breathe in.  Repeat.  Breathe out.