I have little "time" for meditation, I hardly read anymore, I dance a few days a week but I don't run, and when I get home in the evening, little Hudson Guy is in need of attention and physical contact until bedtime, when the physical contact is continued, but at least we both sleep. (Finally!!) So it's clear that I am not setting my life up for stress-relieving choices right now.
How do I redirect this? A change needs to be made, and I keep thinking of what neuroscience and Buddhism both know -- generosity and kindness to others is probably the best way to bring a breath of calm and meaningful life back to myself. My school is launching a kindness project this month encouraging people to "pay it forward" and to be kind to others both directly and anonymously. We have cards that we're asking students to deliver when they perform their act of kindness so that the acts can be registered online. I'm hopeful to see great and widespread effects, but mostly I'm deciding to take it as yet another hint that this is where I need to focus my own stress right now... on the good, not the bad. For example:
-Ben cooks me dinner every night without asking.
-Last night he not only brought me a cup of tea, but with honey, lemon, and whiskey. Just right.
-I got taken out to the ballet (PNB's Don Quijote) on Sunday by Ben's Mom and it was beautiful, relaxing, and inspiring.
-Yesterday a student actually helped clear away some backpacks and binders from the floor that belonged to someone not in the room, so that we could shut the classroom door and begin.
And even...
-The sunrise has been beautiful for days on end, and I love driving across 520 to see all the mountains and the lightening sky each morning.
-My son is learning about new words, new animals, new pieces of life every day. He pushes his hair out of his eyes, and points to things on the pages of his books he never saw before.
-I feel a deep love for my family, and I know my family loves me. That's what it really comes down to.
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